Д.Быков - Колобок и педофилы - текст песни, слова, перевод, видео

RUSSIAN FOLK TALE ABOUT KOLOBOK AND PEDOPHILES

In a distant kingdom, in a police state, there lived an old man and an old woman - right next to the television screen in a hut. Grandma and Grandpa asked me to bake me a kolobok for lunch. The grandmother looked up the recipe on the Internet and began looking for flour in the cupboard; I searched the balcony, searched the toilet, tried to borrow it from the neighbors - and received rudeness in response.

The grandmother put on her felt boots, went out onto the highway, reached the city, stood in line at the savings bank. I withdrew the last nickels from my savings book and bought a pack of flour in the tent. I returned home, rummaged around on the mezzanine and found a packet of yeast and a pinch of salt. I went to church, went to the end of the hall and scraped off the candle fat from the candlestick. She returned tired, ate validol from the first aid kit, lay down, recovered, and went to the stove. I made a bun, fried it a little, and then put it in the window to cool.

Kolobok has cooled down, it’s time for lunch - and he yells at his grandmother and grandfather: “Keep your hands off me, it will be worse!” Yes, how they will shout out the window: “I’m small, I’m round, I was riding on a platter - my grandmother harassed me, my grandfather harassed me! Civil society, grab your pitchforks - hit them, hit them, they are pedophiles!” The police came running in, didn’t bother to investigate, and even subjected the old people to chemical castration. And Kolobok was left with a good apartment - with a room, a kitchen, a balcony and a toilet.

Kolobok rolls through the area - past the painted, green benches. There are fences on the right, garages on the left - a garbage dump is on fire, homeless people are wandering around. The high-rise buildings began, the barns ended - suddenly the Hare comes out to meet them. There are glasses on his nose, a cigar in his mouth, and a two-volume copy of Lamarck's Classification in his paws. The poor guy is tired, he’s coming home from work - he’s been taking tests from students all day. I saw Kolobok and froze solidly. Wow, what a strange invertebrate! He grabbed Kolobok and said to him: “Kolobok, Kolobok, I’ll take you to the museum!” Kolobok responded: “Please, you are within your rights - just give me your mobile phone, send an SMS?” I grabbed my cell phone, logged into the Internet, and let’s shout on social networks: “I’m small, I’m round, I was riding on a platter - my grandmother harassed me, my grandfather harassed me. They harassed him so much that half the yard saw him! And now the Hare is harassing me - I’m posting a video! Civil society, grab your pitchforks - beat the Hare, beat the pedophile!” The police came running in, didn’t bother to investigate, but subjected the Hare to chemical castration. And Kolobok got a mobile phone, gold glasses and false jaws - a trifle, but a delight.

Kolobok rolls for another half hour. Suddenly the Fox comes out to meet you. On Lisa’s paw there is a tattoo “l-i-s-a”, and in her paw there is a traumatic pistol “Wasp”. Kolobok was not afraid of the Fox either, but as he began: “Grandfather harassed me... Grandmother harassed me, the Hare ...” - And the Fox answered: “I’m deaf! Go closer - right to the ear...” Grab Kolobok - and pressed him to his belly! She shut Kolobok's mouth - she fell on her back and started screaming! “Oh God, what’s going on, oh heaven!!! A loaf of bread is raping me!!! In the city center, in broad daylight, a loaf of bread rapes me!!! Oh, woe is me, oh, shame on me - he rapes me in a perverted form!!! Citizens, what is going on? Where is civil society, where are the bloggers, where are the police?” The police came running, did not investigate, and subjected Kolobok to chemical castration. The Kolobok burst, scattered along the path - pigeons flew in, pecked at the crumbs... and everyone was also chemically castrated. And Kolobok’s property went to the Fox! Every pedophile will have his time! Moral of the story: it will happen to everyone!

Lord, Lord! Lord, Lord! It’s clear why you don’t love us, Lord! We are all your children of God. We are all like children. If you, God, loved us... they would say that you were a pedophile!

Leonid Kaganov, 07/31/2011, Moscow, Chertanovo