Раз-два-три, ветер изменится - Глава 3 отрывок 9 - текст песни, слова, перевод, видео

Of course, I would like to say that "two weeks have passed without any changes." Or "this Friday, like many others, I spent in the library." In an extreme case, I would like to cover the remnants of my dignity with shameful “We met absolutely by chance while I was choosing my milk in the store”, but I am dead - what is the point of worrying about my emotional stability?

My morning begins with a crafted coffee and the first edition of Ekman about the psychology of emotions, which I hastily scroll through and, not finding anything at hand, take the first piece of paper that came across - and lay out the place of reading by the visitor of Dr. Lecter. So, this is my first mistake: I let him in, let it be unconsciously, into my life, putting up with the fact that he has a place in it. Let a tiny place: ten by five centimeters in a textbook that I will hand over a few days later to the library - but I highlight this autonomous region and allow him to stay.

My second mistake: I go to the department to pick up the copies of the articles promised to me, and, meeting my gaze with a graduate student, smile at her and softly ask: “Do you have a minute?” She nods desperately, hoping to find a partner in me for campaigns on the movie show, and when I sit down opposite, she puts her palms on the table, demonstrating that she was not engaged.

“Tell me,” I tilt my head to one side, trying to look as relaxed as possible, “you are one of the best employees of the department ... Can I ask you?”

She answers “yes, of course” so hasty that I begin to doubt if she listens to my questions.

- Do you know Dr. Lecter?

She bites her lower lip, flirtingly shooting her eyes to the side, and smiles slightly: "Of course." The best specialist in the field of neurosis. "In the city?" - "In state".

“Awesome therapist” - here are her words. Perhaps we really have something to talk about with Dr. Lecturer? - I draw on the fields of notebooks a branched tree and imagine myself sitting on the very edge of the branch. It’s not that neurosis is the area of my interest, but it’s always nice to talk with a knowledgeable person - I take a step from the edge of the branch, and the tree groans under my bare feet.

I would come to him, sat opposite. “Tea, coffee, Mr. Graham? Maybe a glass of wine? " - And we exchange the neutral smiles of two competent colleagues, when, as if looking aside, by chance I ask him: "How do you find Horney theory that neurosis is protection from humiliation?" - A few more steps to the trunk of a tree, and so I wrap it around with both hands and slowly go down. Dr. Lecter looks at me with a poorly hidden approval and praise, as if I had asked exactly the question that he wanted to hear, and offers to continue the conversation in a more informal setting.

This is what my fantasy looks like.

This is my plan: to earn its location, to demand from him social praise and to saturate my own ego with a recognition that I am curious to the doctor Lecturer not as a clinical case, but as a person.

It sounds a pity, especially in the context of the fact that I continue to turn his business card in my hands, looking like a person who decided to commit suicide and does not know, to inform his psychotherapist about this decision or not.