Вадим Галыгин - Про историю - текст песни, слова, перевод, видео

Hello dear friends! Today I would like to talk about this. During my short period of time while I live in this wide world, I understood one thing. That people, bitch, lie. If people lie, then the books that people write also lie. And if books lie, then historical books also lie. And in fact, in history everything was completely different, everything is not true, but I will tell you how it really was, because I was there.

Battle on the Ice. The books say that at the Peipus Reservoir ours defeated the Germans as a result of the massacre. Fuck. I wanted to give a shit about what books write. The Germans were "pig" ... Fuck! First, not the Germans, but ours. And they didn’t walk, but stood like a pig. They stood like a pig, many could not even stand, they lay like pigs. And what do you want if the army was commanded by a man who, bitch, was named after beer! And when the Germans heard the battle cry of the Russian army. And then there was only one battle cry: “Hey, you, m .... , come here to ...! And everything about-bo-ss-lis. Germans from fear, and ours from laughter. Ours pissed with laughter, boiling water melted the ice, and the Germans fed the crayfish prescribed in Lake Peipsi for another three years. Like this!

Further. Carthage. Scholars write that Carthage was a powerful city. Fuck. I wanted to shit on what they write. Carthage was, at that time, a potent drug. Carthage was such a strong drug that, remember the last day of Pompeii, everyone was covered! I was there, I was also covered, so you can trust me.

Further. Historians claim that Peter I founded the city. This is true. But how did he get it! For two weeks, Peter pissed away everything in the Dutch copeshops, spent money on prostitutes. And when the Dutch came to him and said: “Petya, where is the money?”, he spread his hands. To which the Dutch said: “Sraaat. We don't give a shit where you get the money." Peter had to lay the city. Do you remember what Peter I looked like? (Depicts Peter with his mouth open and his hand stretched up) The dude really went nuts all his life, as much as he should.

Further. Ivan groznyj. Everyone says that Ivan the Terrible killed his son. Horseradish! The son came to him already killed. Because, I remind you, Carthage was a potent drug. Remember the face of Ivan the Terrible. He also went nuts how much Peter I owed.

Lenin. Everyone says that Kaplan fired at Lenin and missed. Like, the Social Revolutionary is left, the pistol is left, the cartridges are left. Fuck. I wanted to shit on what historians write. Kaplan didn't hit Lenin because Lenin, the bitch, was grimacing! And his name was Vladimir Ilyich Neo. It’s just that the name didn’t stick, it’s bad when the leader consists of three letters.

And finally, Hitler. Historians write that Hitler acted according to the Barbarossa plan. Fuck. Shit on the claims of historians. Hitler acted according to the plan "Barberry", named after the candy. Plan "Barberry, what is it. This is when you quickly unfold, then suck. That is exactly what happened with Hitler.

In general, remember: the more yellow holes and white spots in the history, the more interesting.

And for the rest - sraaat.